Monday, November 4, 2013

Ms. Everything [The Premise]

The investment for the business of writing can also get expensive depending upon the fanciness of the brand of coffee you prefer. But when you have drunk enough coffee over most of your career as a writer and have produced nothing, you know it's time to sit your ass down and bloody well get started. 

What does it take to be a good writer? While I can write poetry that punches the reader right in the face, why is it that I cannot sustain prose? I write chapter after chapter, only to mire my way into a dead-end. Death of the plot. Period. 

Then again, I have these periods of rejuvenation. A kick-start after the intellectual hibernation during PMS and I embark on a totally unrelated, fresh project. Today marks the beginning of such a totally new unrelated project. 

There I was, drinking my post-dinner, stay-up-till-midnight, six-bucks-a-cup of coffee when I had this epiphany. Of course I can not write prose chapter-by-chapter! I have to write it episode-by-episode. The answer was right there- Carrie Bradshaw's voice in my head. Season after season, Carrie Bradshaw sat down and addressed those nagging concerns that haunt every woman. The wisdom of it all was right there in black and white, being typed across the screen of her turn-of-the-millennium laptop. Each episode blended seamlessly into the lives of millions of worshipers of her column. 

We're going to be A-Okay. Enough with the morose metaphor making. Enough with the attempts to write serious, literary fiction. Ms. Everything is going to be a novelist. And she's going to write her novel in episodes.  This is the power of Caffeine! This is the era of Post-Ovulation Frustration. The reaction to No Action. 

Fasten your seat-belts, ladies. We're going to have them men changing their gears for us.